Change

Left on the sidewalk
Nothing but a cardboard box
Written on...
saying "please help the homeless"
Asking for nothing more
Than to provide for
A temporary home in a few change
So they can forget about this whole mess
With a cup of coffee and a few change
In circumstances

They can pretend that their life is all set
And sip away as if it's a routine part of their day
To wake up from their daydreams
With an empty cup of coffee at 3 in the morning
Back on the streets to fill the cup again with
Opportunity... to dream

Because the American Dream
Changed,
Evolved to a real dream
Not hypothetical

Empty pockets will always stay empty
Their stomachs, never full

People keep talking about politics and fiscal policies
It's hard to care when food is all you seek
Can't think of anything else but to survive
In a world surrounded by food but
their arms are stuck and their fingers are cramped
In their glass box of poverty

But we don't know such boxes exist
They cleaned it too clean
Leaving them looking like nothing but mimes
Entertaining us with their gestures
So we laugh and clap confused in our minds
Not knowing that their tears are not painted on
Not seeing their hopes are dead and gone...

3 AM

He says Calculus is a philosophy

I'm thinking back as I sit at my desk
With an open textbook and an empty notebook
Struggling to understand the meaning of life
Through numbers and letters and squiggly lines
While tears of frustration are staining my papers
And keeping my neighbors restless because I'm banging my head on the wall time after time

Wishing for the first time that stereotypes were true
Thinking why I wasn't given a calculator brain too
Instead this philosophy of logic has turned into a black hole
with me only realizing that human nature requires us to be a bit...
...Illogical?...
But this light of illogic is devoured by that damn hole

That's when the desperation kicks in
When the night hours don't seem proficient
My blood cells replaced by caffeine
And I'm sitting in a corner
Like a monkey
Swaying back and forth whispering...

...I'm not going to college...

Koreans

Let me delve into the Korean psyche for a second...

Just a thought...

I've realized that Korean people are very susceptible to outer influences. For one (big) example: Christianity. (Did You Know?: the biggest protestant church in the world is located in Seoul, Korea)

Korea's been a dominated nation for centuries. If not dominated, it was divided and corrupt. For so long, Koreans have been taught other languages and have been degraded to a level inferior to all other races and people. For so long, Koreans have only heard about the glory of their own, but have never experienced it.

Nietzsche speaks of the "herd" when he talks about people who easily follow the path laid down by society. In saying that these people are the herd, he's implying that as a population, they are mindless, and dependent.

Mindless, and dependent. Let's think. After hundreds of years of mental degradation and suppression, wouldn't it be expected that Koreans would lack the leadership and confidence to rule over themselves? What if the population is a macrocosm of a human being. A person who is mistreated from childhood almost never becomes a strong independent individual. So what about a whole group of people? What would happen to them?

My theory: Koreans are more susceptible to other ideas such as religion and economic ideologies and are passionate about them because of their inability to stand for something they believe in (because they can't believe in anything) and their dependence in whatever dominates them. Nations that used to rule over Korea have changed to ideas. Now, Koreans are not dominated by other people, but religion. A diety or a God that Korean people, again, have only heard about.

i'll get back on this, but for now,.. i'm tired

woop dee do...

i did absolutely no homework today.... hurray....

Christians Are Not the Victims, But the Persecutors

I was browsing through myspace today and found this on someone's bulletin:

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and the Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore Because the word "God" is mentioned....A kid in Arizona wrote the attached NEW School prayer.Now I sit me down in schoolWhere praying is against the ruleFor this great nation under GodFinds mention of Him very odd.If Scripture now the class recites, It violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow Becomes a Federal matter now. Our hair can be purple, orange or green, That's no offense; it's a freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. For praying in a public hall Might offend someone with no faith at all. In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the state.We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks. They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable. We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong, We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong. We can get our condoms and birth controls, Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, No word of God must reach this crowd. It's scary here I must confess,When chaos reigns the school's a mess.So, Lord, this silent plea I make:Should I be shot; My soul please take!AmenIf you aren't ashamed to do this, please pass this on. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

It's a poem, but i didn't feel like spacing them out. I'm sorry if it's hard to read.

I heard the same type of message from a Christian retreat I attended last week, and it happened to severely bother me. Apparently, the humanists, athiests, secularists, and the homosexuals have an agenda to wipe out the Christian faith and the Christian people. Well I believe that I am speaking on behalf of the people you Christians call evil when I say that you are the persecutors, and not the persecuted.

Why do I say this? It is because our laws encourage freedoms, rights, and justice and Christians realized that it wasn't their God.

The poem made a fine example of how Christians victimize themselves in such a "secular" world. The truth of the matter is that the government has virtues and freedoms to protect. When the government promotes freedom of religion, Christians scream that they are being oppressed. It is not freedom that they want, but converts. Not open minds, but obedient ones.

The Christians aren't being stripped of their right to worship as they wish. The law prevents the government from enforcing any religion to be preached in the public squares. As the public schools are owned by the government, everybody under the government should not be able to promote a single religion because they themselves represent our government. Why is that twisted and disfigured into the idea that the government is preventing anyone, especially the Christians, from worshiping their God. It doesn't! But unfortunately, the Christian community isn't satisfied. They want young minds. THEY want to control the schools. THEY want to control the people. THEY are the true terrorists of America and our so called valuable freedoms.

For any of you who thought that poem was deep and touching, I suggest that you look into it a little more and think about what it's saying. Without God, there's chaos? People with green, orange, red hair are freaks? Seems quite one sided to me. Seeing how the poem addresses such radical liberals as freaks and immoral, I must conclude that the poem must have been written by an adult or someone that opinionated, and not simply a "kid."

Human Struggle and History

Since the beginning of human thought, men have battled against one another on the basis of belief. Philosophy became the battleground of two opposing sides: The ones who ask questions and the ones who create answers.

Throughout history, the struggle between the opposing sides has clashed frequently in a untimely rythm like a violent and never-ending storm. Socrates only suffered the consequences of challenging those who believed to know the answers. Nietzsche suffered a lonely life amongst the mass of thinkers who believed to know the answers. Thucydides only began to describe the result of the herd factor on humanity. The only consequence of mass movement is destruction.

However, I tell you that history is not molded by the mass, but by the individuals. The few Ubermenschen who take their lives and morals into their own hands. They are the people that put us in the place where we are in. They are ones who shape our future.

I ask each and every one of you readers to re-evaluate your lives. I acknowledge the fact that most of you will not see anything wrong with the way you live. Your goal in life is to be happy. The true last man. However, for those of you who realize your potential to be different, unique, better than society, I ask of you only your furthered interest.

Society, laws, and rules are all meant to be broken to make way for new ones. This, in turn, is also known as progress. Man is something to be overcome (Nietzsche). Jesus Christ, Napoleon Bonaparte, Lenin, Che Guevara, and others have taken the responsibility to create exactly that: their rules and morals. How has mankind benefited from these individuals and their new laws? Progress. Everything from human rights, to technological advancements. So why are all these men persecuted? They threaten the old. They threaten the tradition. They threathen the religion. And too many people are looking backwards to notice that history has left them biting the dust.

Anxiety Disorder?

This really should not be bothering me, but it seems to be inevitable.

My parents have decided to start their own dry cleaning business. Needless to say, I support them all the way, and will gladly help as much as I can. The problem is that, financially, the business is too ambitious of a gamble. For ten years, my family has saved up slowly to gather a large amount. However it turns out that in order to start the business, we would need double of what we have, and to run the business, we will need to spend the same amount we saved up for ten years... every month. So, let me assure you, the situation we are facing, or we seem to be facing, is quite grim. Like I said, it's a gamble.

Now, what does that mean for a senior hoping to succeed in the world of struggle known as academia which is also acknowledged as... college? Another set of incredible gamble. Not only must I fight to gain scholarships and school loans, but if I cannot provide for atleast partially for tuition, how can I say this... I'm fucked?

Of course, there are more serious and bigger things to worry about, but I must leave some room for my life. Let's just say that, I'm not going through an easy time as of now, and I surely will be going through hell for the next year or two... or maybe five to ten. I may be stressing out too much, but I only worry for my family and household stability. I just don't want to go through what i had to 10 years ago when we moved across the country to start a new life with nothing more than a hundred dollar bill. We can't do that again.

This article wasn't written to really make a point. Just saying that I'm a nervous wreck right now. thanks

Lord of the Flies Isn't Too Far from the Reality

So I recently attended the Boys State program in Virginia, and it has really been a journey.

First, of all, i want to say how fun it was with the kids who had to suffer the program with me. It was obvious that 90 percent of the students there were only there for having "Boys State" on their college applications. The people who were chosen to come were great people, I couldn't have had a better time for the week if it wasn't for them.

Now, for the actual program.

The week was full of disgusting politics and social maneuverings for issues and topics that too far from reality to even think about. Yet the people who were so into it were nothing short of violent in getting their bills passed and especially getting their candidate elected. There were the good, the bad, and the ugly throughout the conservative brainwash camp, and they were divided distinctively between the dorm and the actual activities. While the fun and the "good" were confined in the dorms right before lights out and the talent show, the bad and the ugly were rampant in the conventions, mid-day activities, and the speeches.

I've never had so much republican conservative slander thrown at me before they brought out the public speakers, expecially, Dave Willis, Jerry Faldwell, the leutenant governor, and the attorney general. Of course, they were talking about issues such as gay marriage, sex offenders, etc. which really held no appeal to me. In fact, i found myself disturbed by what they were trying to get across to us, which was, total compliance to the rule and patriotism to leave no room for individuality and freedoms.

The most disturbing and disgusting topic of the week was that of the flag. It seemed as though the main focus was respecting the American flag. Dave Willis made it clear that he wanted the burning of the American flag to be illegal and another authority wanted total respect to the flag during the flag raising and lowering ceremonies or whoever messed around would be victim to his personal confrontation. Now, I do respect their patriotic adherance to their country, however, I cannot shake off the feeling that their missing the point.

America is a country. A country is an idea. Really, what is the United States of America. The USA consists of different states which consist of people who consider themselves to share an identity. This identity is a citizenship that embodies everyone who wishes to be part of this nation. America is whatever the people make it. Our country cannot be represented simply by a flag or papers. America is simply what we make and what we want it to be. WE are the people. The people make up the country. We can burn the flag if we want to and we can express any of our opinions if we want to as long as we don't oppress the rights and freedoms of others. However, out of feverish patriotism and blind pride, the conservative and militant right want to suppress the freedoms that we have in the name of hate and revenge. What good is protection if we don't have anything to protect. What does a government protect? Our lives? What good are our lives if they don't mean anything. America is collection of individuals. Why are we the best (we're not)? Because we have that freedom. Now, fear, terrorism, and propaganda are restricting those freedoms and our opinions to evnetually bring us down.

Another thing I noticed is that Boys State seemed to be a lot like the government set up by the kids in the Lord of the Flies. The most unimportant were set as top priorities during ceremonies (the flag) and proper dressing was always enforced. Religion was so important in the program and everything revolved around time consuming propriety that had no effect on how we lived our lives whatsoever. So you know waht i have to say to that? Fuck yoU!

anyways... that's my story for Boys State...