3 AM

He says Calculus is a philosophy

I'm thinking back as I sit at my desk
With an open textbook and an empty notebook
Struggling to understand the meaning of life
Through numbers and letters and squiggly lines
While tears of frustration are staining my papers
And keeping my neighbors restless because I'm banging my head on the wall time after time

Wishing for the first time that stereotypes were true
Thinking why I wasn't given a calculator brain too
Instead this philosophy of logic has turned into a black hole
with me only realizing that human nature requires us to be a bit...
...Illogical?...
But this light of illogic is devoured by that damn hole

That's when the desperation kicks in
When the night hours don't seem proficient
My blood cells replaced by caffeine
And I'm sitting in a corner
Like a monkey
Swaying back and forth whispering...

...I'm not going to college...